Just Walk Away

6 Apr

I spent over four hours this morning searching the internet for articles on how to build a strong blog.  I read about exciting things like HTML code, widgets, buttons and SEO (WTF?).

This is not my world, not even a little bit.  Reading this stuff was super unpleasant, like punishment.  Like finding your grandma and Russell from Survivor gettin’ jiggy on your kitchen table, or bad cheese that’s been soaking in a warm cup of pee. Seriously, it wasn’t great.

To top it off, my computer was fighting me the whole time.  My internet connection was spotty at best and when it did bother to show up, it was slow enough to make a TRS-80 seem high tech.

But it had me, this sudden obsession to know about blogs and what makes them tick.  It had me alright, like a bad date on prom night, with all of the promises and disappointments you’d expect.  That stupid “loading” icon burning into my brain, circling and circling, promising a connection that, in all good sense, I should have known wasn’t going to come. Especially after I had been let down before.  But just like that 15-year-old in the backseat, my sleek and shiny Mac, it’s pleasing rounded edges and hip silver screen was all show and no go, fumbling around, never sealing the deal.  At least not today.

Maybe it’ll work this time, I would think, the curser hovering over the next link.  Go ahead, click it. You know you want to.  It’ll be different this time.  Trust me.

Ahh, hope springs eternal.  Either that or I’m a dumb ass.

Sometimes my OCD tendencies surprise me.  Today they came out of nowhere and rolled me like a greased fat man on a slip-n-slide; shockingly powerful and completely unexpected.  They crushed my balance, my mood and any hopes I had of getting anything at all done today.

Nevermind.  I think I’ll take the dogs for a walk.  Maybe there’s a troop of Girl Scouts nearby or a crippled shut-in hobbling to the mailbox that I can get in a fight with.


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