Core Values

22 Apr

Our daughter just got back from a week long field trip with her school.  The kids camped at a state park; they went on hikes and explored tide pools and learned about nature and the environment.  They had counselors with weird names (Uncle Traveling Matt, Sharky, and Waste Beard the Pirate) and sang silly songs and did all kinds of cool stuff.

She had a great time and I’m really glad she went, but I’m not 100% on everything she learned.

Reducing food waste is the latest thing. Check out: 10 Easy Ways to Reduce Food Waste – Save Money and Food – thedailygreen.com.  I get it. Take care of the environment. Reduce, reuse, recycle. I’m a fan. But by the time she got through with her stories, I was beginning to think we’d somehow raised a Kool-Aid drinker.

Visions of my husband and I decked out in head-to-toe camo, low crawling over hard ground to cut through the barbed wire surrounding some sprawling compound in the middle of nowhere popped in my head.  I saw myself grabbing my daughter by the arm, her weird peasant clothing and Crystal Gayle/Dracula hair making her hard to distinguish from the hundreds of other cult members wandering in the dusty courtyard.

How did this happen? How did our outspoken, independent child come home from a field trip as a Kool-Aid drinking cult member?

It took my husband and I half the night to convince her that she wasn’t hurting the environment by composting her apple core.  Apparently she was supposed to eat it, seeds and all.  Like, every time.  That’s what they taught her.  Nice.

We actually paid extra for this.

By eating the core, she fervently explained, her eyes glazed and her voice full of conviction, each person’s food waste would be reduced. Right. Good for the environment. Bad for the person. FYI: apple seeds are poisonous. Yes, Apple Seeds and Cherry Pits are Poisonous. Morons.

Not that the occasional core or watermelon rind will hurt you, but I’m pretty sure if you survive the cyanide from the seeds, your intestines won’t appreciate that much fiber on a full-time basis. Maybe it’s just me.  Maybe I’m old fashioned.  Maybe the environment really is worth a lifetime of gastro-intestinal issues.

So this year in celebration of Earth Day, instead of planting a tree or learning how to compost, I’d like you to wash down your tofu burger with an apple core chaser.  Mmmmm…sounds yummy and fibrous.  Come on, everyone’s doing it and it’s for the environment.

This place can work a nerve.  All the sunshine makes people stupid.

As for us?  Let’s just say there’s one teenager who’ll be seeing strawberries in her lunch for awhile.

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One Response to “Core Values”

  1. Phoebe April 25, 2010 at 4:09 pm #

    Wow!!! Cooper won’t even eat the skin, I’m impressed!

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