Best. Birth Control. Ever.

17 May

Forget about the pill, the patch and NuvaRing. Forget about abstinence and outercourse and good old fashioned condoms. I’ve just stumbled upon the most effective form of birth control to date.

A new site called Shit My Kids Ruined was featured on The Huffington Post Breaking News and Opinion on The Huffington Post last week in an article by Katla McGlynn. This new site is great. Not only is it loaded with pictures of, you guessed it, shit kids have ruined, but they’re eager for you to post your own.

My favorite might be the picture of a smiling bride and groom with a sullen pre-teen hanging his head directly in front of them. The caption simply reads:  “My wedding picture.”

But then the woman with a black eye (presumably caused by the adorable little boy in her arms) is such a close second. Her caption explains that her husband was so embarrassed by the shiner that he wouldn’t go anywhere with her until it cleared up. Nice.

That one made me think of the day I picked my daughter up from preschool and she accidentally slammed her head into my mouth, breaking a huge chunk off of one of my teeth. Sadly, no pictures. Or the time we were roller skating for a 3rd grade school event and she jumped on my back, knocking us both to the ground. I fractured my tailbone, nearly blacked out and came very close to making her “the girl whose mom puked all over the skating rink floor.” Good times.

But the all-time best has to be when she woke up early from a nap and decided to decorate the walls and floor of her bedroom with the only paint she could find; the deep chocolate brown in her diaper. I do have pictures of that (featured above) and yes, I posted them.

From destroyed iPhones to explosions of Desitin, this site chronicles all those little moments when the only good reason your kid survived is because they were cute.

SMKR has taken off in the last few months, collecting thousands of fans along with all those snapshots of juvenile destruction and mayhem.  And for good reason. I haven’t had this much fun online since my brother clued me in to The People of Walmart: Funny Pictures at WalMart.

So go ahead and cancel that uncomfortable conversation with your kids about birth control. Do you really want to explain the withdrawal method in detail? Didn’t think so. Instead, just bookmark this site and email them a copy. It’s pretty self-explanatory.

And if your kids are too young for that, then keep the camera close. Your day is coming, and it’s your duty as parents to document and share all the shit your kids ruin.


2 Responses to “Best. Birth Control. Ever.”

  1. Erin May 18, 2010 at 5:13 pm #

    This is why I’m single.

    Actually, there are probably many reasons why I’m single. But this is definitely one of them.

  2. thefoolschair May 18, 2010 at 10:22 pm #

    Girl, that was no joke. And she did it twice.

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